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Grad鈥檚 debut novel stems from lived experience with mental illness

Photo by Dan Toulgoet

Vancouver鈥檚 L茅a Taranto once dreamed of dazzling the literary world with her first novel by the age of 17. Today, the Writer鈥檚 Studio graduate and new author laughs gently at her younger overachieving self. That big dream was quickly derailed, explains L茅a, when she instead spent her adolescent years institutionalized for obsessive-compulsive and comorbid disorders. It鈥檚 this indelible lived experience that forms the heart of her debut novel, . Written for young adults, the book was published this spring by Arsenal Pulp Press.

鈥淚 feel there鈥檚 a tender irony that the thing that I viewed as a derailment is what ended up becoming my breakthrough debut,鈥 says L茅a with a smile.

At the age of 12, she recalls, she鈥檇 turned to writing in a journal to cope with the onset of her symptoms and the subsequent bullying at school. Drawing from these journals, A Drop in the Ocean tells the story of a teenager diagnosed with OCD and anorexia who enters a residential treatment centre where she makes new discoveries and new friendships, including a first love. L茅a says she hopes the book will help battle the stigma about mental health issues, as well as the misconception that treatment will lead to a 鈥渃ure.鈥

鈥淭his is the kind of story I would have wanted to read when I was a teen,鈥 explains L茅a. 鈥淚 hope that it can act as a psych ward primer for youth about to enter in-patient treatment.鈥

More than a coming-of-age tale, the novel is also a love letter to L茅a鈥檚 late fianc茅, Shaun. The couple had met while in treatment for different mental illnesses at the same residential facility. Shaun had been highly supportive of L茅a鈥檚 writing but never lived to see the book completed.

鈥淲riting this story was a way for Shaun to live on,鈥 says L茅a. 鈥淚t also gave me something meaningful to focus on besides devastating grief.鈥

For L茅a, the community she鈥檇 formed through the Writer鈥檚 Studio was a comfort through this difficult period of her life: 鈥淚 was lucky to have TWS because I met people there who then supported me through the grieving process.鈥

Since graduating from the program in 2020, L茅a has remained in touch with members of her cohort who continue to motivate and inspire her. When she enrolled in TWS, she says, she鈥檇 hoped to join exactly this kind of community, as well as to develop her craft and build a sustainable writing practice. At the time, she was working on a speculative fiction novel and unsure how to ever complete it or find a publisher.

鈥淚 needed and craved the guidance of a creative writing program to keep me motivated and held accountable enough to finish a full manuscript,鈥 she explains.

But instead of finishing her fantasy tale, L茅a pivoted to the idea of a contemporary romance after writing a memoir piece for a TWS class. Her short story recounted her first date with Shaun while they were both in treatment, and it became the seed that eventually sprouted A Drop in the Ocean.

Opening up about her past through the book has helped her to make peace with it, says L茅a. 鈥淚t helped me have more compassion for my younger self, because I had a lot of shame and anger towards some of the choices that I made then,鈥 she explains. 鈥淗aving this story of mine, out of all the novel ideas I鈥檝e had, be what made it into the world is life affirming.鈥

Like many writers, L茅a struggles with procrastination and an exacting inner editor鈥攂ut she also deals with compulsions that can steal hours from her day and leave her exhausted. Yet she鈥檚 persevering and is now back at work on the historical fabulism novel she鈥檇 originally brought to TWS. For L茅a, writing might have begun as a coping mechanism in her youth. But now it鈥檚 so much more.

鈥淪tories really matter,鈥 L茅a muses. 鈥淏eing able to share and express art, through language, is incredibly beautiful, and it鈥檚 how we can leave a legacy that transcends time.鈥

With the publication of her first book, L茅a鈥檚 legacy is off to a promising start.

By Kim Mah